bambie's Datingish

THERE'S NO PERFECT MAN

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 06:39:08 GMT

We decided living, and after what had happened living seems to be the only option and that was hard. Well, as of this moment i wont be talking about living, for there's no much to tell about life after we lost our child. Yeah, we decided living and first step is to see the bright side. What i've learned from that experience has changed my views towards people and towards life and towards my faith.

Ive questioned or asked God but still I never hated him.
And it was the time that ive thought things.

Since childhood, I learned to appreciate love stories, Ive learned and dreamt of my dream wedding, the man of my dreams, my dream family but first ive to find my perfect man. I have so many criterias or standards, but again, some in my list wasn't there. In my PERFECT MAN list was, 1. tall 2. sports minded 3. good sense of humor 4. has a great job 5. good looking 6. neat 7. can carry conversations 8. can get along with my friends 9. whos not demanding 10.. and a lot more. Imagine.. i got a lot more! Girls has this imprinted on their minds, or some girls does and im one of them

And again, i realized that none too much of that list is needed in order for you to find your perfect man.It didn't reach 6 or 7 to find him. I found him the day i was laying in the ultrasound room holding my hand so tight when the doctor tells us that we lost our child. I found him, controlling his tears when im powerless of mine. I found him standing amidst our weakest moment, I found him comforting me when I knew he needs comforting too. With all that imperfections, I found him. Staring at me and holding on when i saw no reason to continue what we had. He might boss around, demands or werent that extra sweet but he made me fall inlove with him again.

So what we need is not a list, we need is we should be ready to take risks and chances to what we think is hopeless, a reason is always behind in every dream.We must not try to change a man for what he is not, so that they can fit in our every standard, i could say that let him be the man who he wanted to be and grow with him.

people are people

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 01:55:30 GMT

One of the doctors' who were instructing us on our early years in college said that "we must learn how to connect our lessons learned in other subject with the lessons that we have now." its just that way it works she added.
Thinking about it, i knew that she is telling us and showing us what was beyond.

As this is a blog site where love is mostly the subject. Im connecting those words that she said with what ive learned about people in particular. you might object but this is what i think. and this is my blog so i dont care.
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In a relationship ive learned that you can never completely please your partner let alone the other people surrounding you. and because of this arguments arises and fights and misunderstandings. Your partner or you might want to work it out first and second and third, but on the latter one of you will surely want out.

A love story might not be a happy ending, to the ones who had just experience being inlove and failed might find that very hard, and the realization of fairy tales only exist on walt disneys books or movies. To those who have failed might get afraid to try again, some may hate their EX bf/gf, some may even try to get them back, some might try again and some on my opinion, there are some who were courageous enough to try again. And im happy for them.

That boys/men who were just courting will say even the impossible just to get you, will show you, give you attention that girls might fall for and when they started dating there goes the true color. Some men, also knows how to love and they are the one who just might be the least you have expected they were noisy and rude or silent. That you just have also to invest time to get to know a real jerk better and decide that he is not a jerk after all.

In failed relationships, a bottle of beer comes in handy, party seems to be unscheduled jumping from one party to the other. One might vomit their lungs out and do crazy things, one might find a rebound but in the end of the day most likely these people might find themselves crying and thinking when did the tears fell.

Conclusion is expected, like i will never love again, or i will never hurt again, but find themselves falling in love again after a month, or a year. . .

Hurting because of love is ok, why do we hate it? why do some people put the blame on other people for their mistakes in their relationship? and why are some people have doubts about love just because other people are not successful in their love life? Connecting our experiences will surely help. hurting this time might help us later

where's my kiss

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 04:33:37 GMT

Facing the holidays, i went home at our house from my school which is too faraway that you have to ride a 1 hour plane or an 8 hour trip by ship. And so i have to leave my bf there coz his parents will be visiting them there instead.

And new year, i read so many beliefs and exciting blogs from different people how they would love to spend their holidays with some one, and then there was this. New years Kiss.

i wanted to have that kiss. for welcoming the year with him.I envy those people who are with their SO in that time wishing that they will both have happy new year, in their relationship.

i guess i will just have to settle with the phone calling or waiting...

its cold outside

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 07:50:05 GMT

its raining so hard and i just got back from errands.
got a cup of hot chocolate in hand. its home.

so how about you?

when its so cold outside..
what are you doing?
what are you thinking?

kissing in real life

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 08:11:31 GMT

i love watching movies on their kissing scenes, it is so sweet and so romantic most especially before they kiss and the guy just stares at his girls eyes as if he is telling her something. and by just that look they understand. i get giddy watching those flicks. and yes, i do love kissing too.

who dont anyway?

well i got a question,is kissing scenes on the movies and real life different? does it also happen in real situations, wherein both of you just want knocking the other senseless with a kiss or does it only happens in the movies? that is before sex... or you just want to kiss a little and do the deed?

which is which?
and why?

growing up. i found out christmas

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 13:56:28 GMT

when i was a kid, i usually grew soo excited about christmas that i always ask my parents how many more days do i have to wait for that day. it was fun.
remembering those days, wow, i cant forget my ma being busy in the kitchen cooking dishes, my sister makes he very own fruit salad that i have to sneak just to taste a little into the fridge. my brother, oh he was a staller, he goes out and just be unavailable for any errands so i have to find him and fetch. i miss those days, my pa is outside talking with my uncles and buying some errands for my ma, he complains that we dont need much food in christmas, i was horrified. no he cant do that, christmas for me is like my birthday back then. but still mother knows her way into my pa.. lol.
and now, christmas doesnt need to be grand. my mother on the other country now working, my sister with her and my brother already has his own family. that left me with my father in our house, but he used to go to my ma when im busy at school. this christmas im spending it with my father. and its fun. and i miss him soo much also from being away from him because of school. but it would be more merrier if we are all here, i wouldnt mind pa complaining about the many food we have to prepare, i wouldnt mind my brother leaving the house to avoid any errands, i wouldnt mind my sister lecturing me to behave and try to not eat her salad. just as long as during christmas we are with each other.
having friends and doing things grown ups do is fun.you get to buy and spend night out alot just that sometimes, i wish i could still see christmas as what ive pictured it before. just being with those persons whose been with you the first you celebrated your christmas.

im inlove with a vampire

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:19:55 GMT

his shadow, was always there beside me. eyes upon me, even in my dreams he's there, almost so vividly he holds me.
It was what that story is suppose to be. he do sucks my blood out. he makes me cry oh so hard for help, but my cry would only grow effortless. he makes me so weak, hopeless. so i let him suck all my strength, my will- my blood. And that was the biggest decision ive made, facing the darkness that slowly falls upon me, i decided everything would just be alright.

It did.

+he's beside me to let me know he'll always be there.
+his eyes were upon to let me know that he knows what i feel, to assure that i should not worry on what he has to say. he would understand
+ he stays in my dreams, to make it all come true.
+sucks my blood when all his reasons comes intersecting into mine.
+he makes me cry oh so hard for help, when i wanted to just have some time for myself to think, for space. but always there holding on. not letting me go.
+he makes me so weak form hating him and loving him all the same time.
+hopeless, from thinking of the time that he would soon leave me, nothing anyway is forever only things lasts for a long time.
+letting him have my all. my strength. my ability to use my mind. am i so inlove. my inability to use my mind towards him is my weakness.
+and facing the darkness. im defenseless by my own decision but in darkness ill be with him. my troubles will be shared with him, my pain would be sucked by his presence, my tears would be guarded by his embrace, my problems would be his to take.

.....im HIS.......

i love you. but im bored

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 10:41:02 GMT

My first 9month long relationship is still kickin'. and its fun! i didnt imagine myself being able to stay that long with someone, im kinda moody and i often say whats on my mind. but being with him, i do learn to brace myself and keep my thoughts and assess before i make a big issue. its good, right?. everything goes well. I even find myself missing him even its only been seconds since he left. We were too comfortable with each other, i even got some of my things on his apartment and he in mine. When he left his tootbrush, he'll use mine, my soap, my shampoo and everything that is "useable", its fine with me; im also welcome to use his things though.

Too comfortable.
Too constant.
Too dull--
Bored?

Is this just a natural feeling when you've been in a constant cycle of everyday tasks/activities/person?
This feeling could be fleeting; a twist, and whatever this may cause in a ralationship i hope it would not end. there were times when i think about us, getting this long still standing inspite of some troubles all my thoughts gets well, but when i stop thinking, there it goes again. Should you hate me for getting bored? dont get me wrong, i do love him and willing to give him my all. Should i ask some space? But i dont believe on people asking "spaces" to their SO. Asking me for space means "get lost" . And i dont wanna do that. He's too special, Coz im in love.

A knight questioned by its existence

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 05:53:23 GMT

Theres the man you chose, the man who'll likely have to fetch you after work, who'll pay the insist to pay the bill on a date, who'll give you flowers and chocolates and everything cutie things you sure do love to woo you or he'll just treat you and bring you out of town to watch the most beautiful place to watch the sunrise, who'll treat you like the only girl in the world and losing you means the end of it.

Theres that guy who'll grin at you and laugh at you when you make a fun out yourself and still assure you that he love you still, who'll appreciate everything you do, who'll try to make you smile each day there is and who'll go crazy when you're hurt for he hurts triple.

Theres that man, who'll comfort you, and explain every problem and let you see things on the different side patiently, who'll have to endure you every month of complete crazyness of changing, budging gormones. who'll stand by you still even if you dont wear or feel the most exquisitely gorgeous lady in the crowd.

The guy who'll stay and that is that guy, maybe not the knight. but he is that man, maybe all of us dreamed of having and still its existence is questioned in this generation.

If there truly is that kind, i know there it is but so hard to find. In a world where beauty and physique is the basis of judgement and without it one is not taken seriously, i hope it is not. That there are still people who will find time to get to know somebody just because he/she makes you smile and because of understanding and spark is there. A knight that is different from the other. and i hope there is still. And its ok even if he doesnt ride horses and wears armors. (lol)

REALIZE (first new year resolution for 2009)

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 09:44:54 GMT

someone once said to me to never allow anybody to talk you out on things. Meaning, its your life;so you decide. its you wholl get bruised, so why ask for somebodys advice. and if so you ask, the bottom line is you still ask yourself. so why ask.

i never really understood what he meant by that until, yes, lately.

That leads me thinking of how people can be sometimes be so annoying on asking other peoples advice but then ending up not listening to any of it. Ive done that, and ive realized that mistake.

And as of 6:39 this evening i will have my first new year resolution for the year 2009. And that Ill only ask advice to someone if and onl if i really NEEDED it. That will not only allow me to trust my points and decisions on things but also realize a mistake when its coming. So i will have to answer to myself and no other else on any matter.

So... how fast can we really realize our mistake? is it after or just as we have done that deed?or are you that person who'll have to need somebody to tell it to them upfront?